Moving Too Fast

So I wanted to put it out there that just because every day here feels like a month, doesn't mean that I realize when forever suddenly passes and I haven't been in contact with people (Mom, sorry). Jerusalem continues to be wonderful (that's what I'm expected to say---also, it's true) but it is a completely different education than I expected to get when I signed up for this thing. The combination of personalities and dynamics and insecurities have made my one month here the most introspective of my life. How it worked out that the two most emotionally complicated and neurotic and dramatic human beings ended up in the same room (me and my roommate) I'll never know---er go providence put us together to work through our rapid descent into insanity together. There are tons of people here (including those who I don't really know well) who I know have been put into my life to challenge (and strengthen) me. Everything gets thrown at you so fast that it's like an entire lifetime of learning into a single summer.

Bizarre Perfection--exhibit in the Israel museum that randomly changed my life (also describes how I feel people percieve me these days). I started going to the Spanish sunday school class and they asked who in the room was perfect and Andy pointed to me (like I didn't know what 'perfecto' meant) and even though it was a joke this concept of my flaws making me weirdly desirable keeps coming up here. Like five girls have told me that they would totally in love with me if they were boys and three boys have proposed in no uncertain terms (clearly in jest). I feel free to tell you this without just oozing pretensiousness because anyone that knows me knows that the more people admire me the more I crumble in uncertainty and insecurity.

I need to stop because 1) this is probably just giberish and pride to anyone who is not me and 2) we have a forum right now.

But man. This experience is a challenge and a blessing. Also, I've just realized that every thought I have has to go through about as many checkpoints as palestineans in the West Bank before I can freely express it which is why everything you will read from me will probably be accompanied by "I'm sorry about this" or "this is ridiculous" HOWEVER---peel that junk away and you may be able to decipher what my subconscious has the desire to express.

ENOUGH.